Here I am, sitting in my dining room, by myself, and all I can think is that I'm sure there is something that I should be doing. It's midnight local time, the kids are in bed, Allie is upstairs making sure they stay in their rooms/ reading who knows what. And here I sit. I could say that I am just relaxing, but isn't sleep more relaxing? And still here I sit. Winding down? I'm not sure I know what that really means. It's been so long since I've lived a "normal" life. I really and truly don't know what to do with myself. So here I sit, letting my mind wander. Let me say, once that starts going, it's hard to stop it. Yey here I sit. I know that there must be something I should be working on, but I don't dare make any noise and wake the kids. Have I become a work-a-holic? I'm not sure. I've always worked hard. This peace and quiet, tho very nice, is so very unusual. No rumbling of a truck engine, no bouncing in a bunk while I read myself to sleep. I know that some day this will be my life, for I hate the industry I'm in. I know that this is the way life should be. Yet is just seems so calm. So quiet. Has the background noise of my life completely deadened my senses? I'm not sure. I know I like this, but it's sure gonna take some getting used to.
I thank God that I have this peace not only in my house but in my heart. I know that this is right. It just seems so foreign to me. No fighting, crying, whining. A man could really fall in love with life all over again if it were more like this everyday. It's rare that I get these occasions to just sit and think. I could really get used to it. -Chuck
