His Plan

As I sit here in a "drivers lounge" at a truck dealer I keep thinking to myself "Why did I ever get into this industry?" Those of you that know me know that I am not a person that likes to be by themself. I used to be a very social person surrounded by my friends and family, but for the last 12 years I've been out here away from those that I care the most about. I could say that I was driven to it for the money, but honestly I think it has cost me more than I could have made by having a career at home. I could say I did it for the freedom, but that's not true either. I'm tied to the truck whenever I'm out here to make sure that dispatch can keep track of me and the load. Well I must have done it for the scenic views and gorgeous sunrises and sunsets. While I have to admit we live in the most beautiful country on the planet, I feel as tho it's part of my soul now, I know I haven't seen it all, but the beauty of it all seems to have worn thin on me. So, if none of these were the reason, then why?
    I think that the reason I came out here was several fold. I did it because I thought it was the best way to take care of my family. And I lost them. I did it for the financial security. And I've done all but go bankrupt. I did it to calm a "restless spirit". And found out that spirit was youthfull energy that has since been sapped away. I did it because I was uncontent in the state that I was. I didn't listen to wise council or to the small still voice inside me. I could blame others, but the truth of the matter is, they were my own personal choices. My own foolish choices.
    Granted hindsight is 20/20. I know now that they were foolish. At the time I thought I had the world in the palm of my hand. I didn't need anyones advice. I was wiser than the wisest of council. I knew this career would be a great boost in my life! How much more wrong could I have been? So, I've learned my lesson, right? Unfortunatly, probably not. I know that I have alot more hard lessons in my life. I know that I'm going to make more foolish choices. No matter how hard I try to listen to wise council, it seems my actions turn the other direction. Will I ever learn? Probably not.
    My one comfort in all this is that no matter what foolish choices I have made, God has somehow used them to teach me a lesson. I may be wierd but I find it fun and entertaining to look over my past and see how hard I've tried to screw it up, and God still uses it for His good plan. Odd, I know, but it keeps me in awe of His power and Glory. I would challenge each reader of this to take a look at their past, the lessons learned, and see how God has used that to His plan.
                                                                                              -Chuck